Monday, October 10, 2011

I'm going to love you through it.


As you probably already know, October is breast cancer awareness month. While it is scary to take the initiative to go for your annual tests and mammograms, it is mandatory that we do it. We fear the worst, but the "C" word isn't always a death sentence. Yes, battling cancer is no walk in the park, but early detection and treatment is key to winning the fight.


August was two years that my mom finished treatments for breast and lung cancer. She found a lump before Christmas, but didn't mention it because of the holidays. It didn't go away after reducing caffeine, so she went to have it checked by a local physician. He immediately sent her to Jackson where she was treated and cared for with utmost importance.  It was indeed what we feared. She was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer. The day that she found out, she was alone. Just hearing such devastating news, she had to make that tough drive home by herself. If I had had any clue that she would get results that day, I would have certainly went with her. We went to doctor appointment after appointment, she had surgery, and thought we were finally ready to start a new chapter in life and put this all behind us. She was told that she would not need chemo because the surgeon had gotten all of the cancer with surgery and it had not spread into her lymph nodes. An oncologist did want to meet with her to discuss treatments in case she wanted to do them as a preventative measure. We were told that the type chemo she would need wouldn't make her hair fall out (one of the things the dreaded the most) and as the doctor put it, "You don't have to do it, but if you were my mother, you'd be doing it." So, Mama decided that she would go forward with treatments. At that point, she was instructed that she would need to do some tests just so they'd have something to compare to after chemo. They had to know everything about her body before starting. She was told that they weren't doing these tests because of a fear of cancer some place else in her body, but it was important they knew everything about her before they started. We left the appointment feeling very confident and happy. We went to eat to celebrate, as usual. At the next appointment, our hearts again were crushed. A spot was found on her kidney and her lung. The spot on her kidney wasn't of great concern, but she had to go immediately for an MRI of her lung. She will probably kill me for this next part, but I need to add some humor to this post. She is very claustrophobic and closed MRIs are enough to suffocate her for sure. So, we walked across the hall and she got a quick dose of happy medicine to relax her before the MRI. Well, whatever they gave her worked! I was pushing her out of the Medical Mall in a wheel chair (because she was obviously too loopy to walk) and she thought I was a nurse. I played along and starting asking her questions like I was indeed her nurse, but she soon realized it was me and quickly jumped out of that wheel chair and started walking. "If that is just you pushing me, I can walk!" Well, we go down into the dungeon at UMC for the MRI and waited. After leaving the hospital, we went for ice cream. Too bad she doesn't remember because she thoroughly enjoyed it. I know she doesn't remember because later she told me she'd like to try that turtle something or another (I can't remember the name of it) and that is what she had ate that day in about 30 seconds flat! We shopped a little and she told one of the cashiers, "You will have to excuse me, I'm medicated." Ha Ha! I thought I'd never get her home! I instructed her doctor to NEVER give her that medication again on a day that I was driving her (unless they'd give me a dose, too!) 
So after the results were in, Mama and I went into her next appointment with high hopes and in the best mindset possible. After we waited in a room for three freaking hours, the doctor came in and told us that the MRI found a small spot of lung cancer, but the kidney was just a cyst. Lung Cancer. Two words you never want to hear together. The prognosis is never usually good, per her doctor. Because lung cancer has no symptoms until it is too late, it is usually too late to treat once it is found. Mama's doctor was so happy because for ONCE, she was able to give the news of a cure situation with a lung cancer patient. There are some odd things to Mama's story, but we view them as blessings. It is very odd to have two totally different types of cancer in your body at one time. In Mama's case, the lung and breast cancer were totally unrelated. The lung cancer was found only because of the scans to prepare for chemo. 
Breast cancer saved my Mom's life! 


What a relief when those results came back saying that she was cancer free. The thing that people need to realize (if they or their loved ones have never been directly affected by cancer) is that just because that scan shows no sign of cancer, the fear NEVER goes away. Every three months, then every six months, then every year..when it is time for a check-up, the fear returns. It's always there. Every ache. Every pain. Every head ache or time of fatigue. Every funny feeling. The fear it is back. So, while it is so easy to remember to pray for cancer patients while they are in the process of being diagnosed and during their fight against cancer, please remember to pray for them and keep them in your thoughts from then on. Because the constant nagging is always in their, and their family members', mind. At each check-up, it is more present. And when you get a call to come in to "re-check" a mammogram or another test finding, that fear is so strong that it consumes you. It's all you can think about, and no matter how much faith you have, it seems to never simmer until you hear once again, "you  are clear, we'll see you at your next check up."  You get a sense that you can take over the world. You feel like you can accomplish anything, because you are once again getting a second chance. I get these feelings when my Mom gets a good report, and it isn't even me that it directly affects. It's like you are even more so reminded of even the smallest of blessings and you are so much for thankful for things that you would normally take for granted.  I get so worried and worked up, so I can't even begin to imagine her worries and fears. She's been such a trooper through her battle with cancer. I'm so proud of how strong she has been. I'm not sure that I could have held up as strongly as she has. She was the one diagnosed with cancer, and it seems like a lot of days she was the one making me feel better. Whether we were going for an out of breath walk, working in the flower bed, shopping, etc., she never let on that she was just recovering from having a breast and and entire lobe removed from her lung! She kept my house clean, the laundry done, and cooked! I'm so thankful that my mom was one of the lucky people who was detected early and I will admit that some of my reasons are selfish ones. I can still pick up the phone and call my mama when I'm having a bad day, when I need advice, or when I just want to talk.  As I type this, I'm crying tears of sadness for those in the world that haven't been this lucky. For some people, it might sound crazy for me to put lucky and cancer diagnoses in the same sentence, but some people aren't as fortunate and they'd give every last cent they had for just a phone call, a hug, or sometimes - even a photograph.


So, as I have rambled on I probably strayed away from my initial point. Go for your mammogram this month! If your family history makes you more prone to cancer of any sort, start getting screened before the recommended ages. I was told to take 10 years from my mother's age when she was diagnosed to start my mammograms. Then, I was told to be safe, I could even start 5 years prior to that. You can bet I will be as nervous, but I will be there for my screening when I turn 35!


We give all the praise to God for my mom's journey with cancer. He's still answering our prayers and knows just when we need a little extra help. During Mama's chemo, she looked forward to her grandson's arrival from Korea. Just the thought of him seemed to keep her going. After our scare last week and then waking up to find the Proverbs 31 Ministries email message today, I felt like I needed to take the time to write this.
Mama, this is for you. I love you!
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.

And when this road gets too long
I'll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
I’m gonna love you through it.
Listen to the words of Martina McBride's video at the top of this post. I will paste the words at the bottom of of this post for those who might be reading and can't access the video. It's probably a post of its own, but also read carefully this insert from the Proverbs 31 Ministry from today. 


Sometimes we may look at God and wonder if we are a bother. After all, we’re a work in progress. We get busy and forget to treasure our times with Him. We promise ourselves we’ll grow spiritually, and then lose our temper with a loved one.

Perhaps today you struggle with accepting God’s love. Our key verse says you don’t have to fear rejection, because you are adopted. God loves you just like Josh and Melissa love their new son, but in a God-like measure.

And, in the same way when our grandchild was adopted, he went to court with his mom and dad, and a judge, who had the authority, pronounced the adoption as official. It was irrevocable.

Did you know God’s Word is your authority? Romans 8:14-16 promises that God’s love for you is also irrevocable. You are signed, sealed and officially His child. Today, as His adopted child, ask the Holy Spirit to gently remind you one more time of Whose you are and how very loved you are by Him!

Song Lyrics:
"I'm Gonna Love You Through It"

She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don’t discriminate or care if you’re just 38
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said, "I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you"

When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.

She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Now it's forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, "I don't think I can do this anymore"
He took her in his arms and said "That's what my love is for"

When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.

And when this road gets too long
I'll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
I’m gonna love you through it.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great post! My grandmother is a breast cancer survivor!! Glad your mom is doing so good now