22 Week Pic

22 Weeks

Also, I couldn't resist this girly cuteness.



Baby Sister Update

Great appointment today - Praise the Lord!

The details:

My due date by ultrasound has changed at every appointment, but I'm 22 weeks today going by my very first ultrasound at 6 weeks.

Judging by today's ultrasound, the baby is measuring 22 weeks 6 days and weighs an estimated 1.3 pounds.

Heart rate was 156 when the doctor checked it, but 170 when the ultrasound tech checked it.  Baby Girl was bouncing around and exercising and would not be still - causing the increase in heart rate.

She was waving and extending one of her legs and foot straight out at one point.  I couldn't help but think of my 6'4 husband and carrying his tall daughter in my short body.  Maybe pictures are a bit decieving, but she was so much bigger this time than last time and really looked like a real baby.

Everything checked out good and seems to be progressing smoothly and on target.

I go back for my 26 week appointment on January 7th.

Oh, and she still has no name.  We must work on that because "new baby" just isn't going to cut it much longer.

And for the record, John McRae fully acknowledges that there is a baby sister in my belly, but he still wants her to be an elephant.  I can't believe by the time this baby is born, my sweet baby boy will be a four year old BIG boy.  It's amazing that one heart can hold so much love, but mine does and I'm so very, very thankful for these kiddos.

Thanks for the prayers, everyone.

XOXO,

Stacy

A week in the life of Fluffy Elephant

Our elf, Fluffy Elephant, has been hanging around for several weeks, but he's gotten much more active since Thanksgiving night.  Here are a few of the places he's been spotted over the last week.

Have a fun and merry Christmas season - We sure are!
The Benefields



Adoption: What Helps and What Doesn't

As you all know, it is national adoption month and this is some pretty important information.  Since sharing the news that we are expecting a baby in 2013, the section "What hurts adoptive families?" has really come to light from time to time for Daniel and I.  John McRae is our "real" child and we love him more than anything in this world.  And we equally love our daughter and can't wait to meet her - just as we could not wait to get our hands on John McRae during our 40 week wait to bring him home.

Adoption: What Helps and What Doesn't


Well-meaning people can make statements that cause hurt to the child, adoptive parents and birth mother.

by Katie Overstreet (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/adoptive_families/adopting_children/adoption_what_helps_and_what_doesnt.aspx)

What hurts children who have been adopted?

•Comments such as "Do you think you'll try to find your real mom?" or "Do you know your real parents?" Adoptive parents are the real parents in every sense of the word. Biology isn't important.

•Saying "You must be so grateful they adopted you." Remember, for most of these kids, what they tend to remember is that they were removed from the only family they've ever known. It doesn't always seem like a good thing, especially at first.

•Adoptive parents shouldn't feel discouraged or get their feelings hurt if/when the child doesn't connect immediately or still shows loving feelings toward the birth family. In some situations, it can take a long time for that new relationship to develop. Remember, this is about the needs of kids, not the parents. The parents not feeling as loved as they would like doesn't invalidate the adoption.

•When an adoptive mother feels threatened by or has her feelings hurt if the child wants to contact the birth mother.

•Always refrain from telling the child unkind things about the biological family.

What helps children who have been adopted?

•Honesty is the best policy — talk openly about the fact that he or she was adopted.

•Allow the child to ask any questions about the adoption, birth family, etc.

•Create a scrapbook of personal history like photographs, notes and information on birth family.

•Medical history, if available.

•Maintain important connections as much as appropriate and possible; for example, loving foster parents, friends and coaches.

•If the child was adopted internationally, provide as much information on the country as possible.

•If beneficial and all parties are in agreement, it can be helpful to grow up knowing biological relatives as part of an extended family; this isn't appropriate in all circumstances.

What hurts adoptive families?

•Adoptive families absolutely feel their children are their real children; comments to the contrary are very hurtful.

•Treat all children the same regardless of whether they came through birth or adoption.

•Because God designed adoption, it isn't a second best option, so be sensitive about saying things that convey it is somehow a plan B.

•Comments like "I'm sure you'll get pregnant now that you've adopted" feed into unrealistic expectations. (Most adoptive parents cannot stand this comment.  It does happen, but it isn't true for everyone.  Some people face emotionally (and physically) draining fertility issues and some people adopt without having the desire to have biological children.)

•Family, friends and church members shouldn't assume they know what's best for the adoptive family without being willing to learn about the differences in parenting a child who was adopted.

What helps adoptive families?

•Consistent and specific prayer support is vital to an adoptive family.

•A New Addition shower is very helpful even if the family is welcoming home an older child.

•Ongoing support from friends and family — prayer, meals, cleaning, etc. It can take quite a long time before the family settles into a real routine and is doing well.

What hurts birth mothers?

•Comments "I could never do that" tend to communicate that you would love your child more than they did and wouldn't be able to make an adoption plan.

•Don't assume she'll just move on with her life; this is a life-changing event and she needs time to grieve. Comments about her moving on and having more kids one day aren't helpful.

•Be honest with birthmothers on the front end and don't oversimplify the feelings they will experience.

•If an open relationship is agreed upon beforehand (i.e. updates, pictures, letters, etc.), it's important for adoptive families to follow through with that plan as long as it remains in the best interest of the children.

•Family and friends of the birth family shouldn't pretend the child doesn't exist — continue to validate the birth mother and the child she's carrying.

What helps birth mothers?

•Adoptive parents should refrain from representing the birth family in a negative light regardless of the situation.

•Allow the birth mother time to grieve, and don't try to minimize the feelings she's experiencing.

•Reassure her that she is making the best decision for her baby.

•If appropriate, follow up from the adoptive family reassures her of the decision she made.

Copyright © 2010, Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.



Animal Tree

John McRae wanted an animal Christmas tree in his room.  So, here's our attempt.

It's a work in progress.

The lights are too short so we have to add to them, but dollar store animals plus some string equals animal ornaments.

He loves it so that is all that matters.

We still have a little time, so we'll get it right before Christmas.

Oh, yea. Happy Thanksgiving (We aren't skipping it)!

Baby Girl is Growing!



6 Weeks



10 Weeks



18 Weeks




18 Weeks - Waving and Rubbing Her Face




Apparantly, those three dots mean IT'S A GIRL!



Our baby girl is growing so quickly and we pray that she stays healthy and keeps growing during the next 22 weeks!

XOXO,
Stacy & Co.

Happy Halloween!

John McRae was so excited to bake cookies for his class last night.
He loves to help in the kitchen and always says, "I'm a great helper!"
Yes, sweet boy, you are!
I'm so thankful that I get to be his Mama.

Happy Halloween!

The Benefields

Baby Update #2

I went for my check-up yesterday and everything is still going great.  The baby's heart rate is in the 150's so my doctor told me that he thinks it might be a girl.  My next appointment is on November 12th so be praying for a healthy mama, baby, and pregnancy.  I'll be 19 weeks at my next appointment so we should find out the sex of the baby.  Daniel and I really do not have a preference one way or another.  We just want a baby come April 2013!

John McRae's thoughts on the baby so far...

At first, he said he'd take a baby sister.  Then, he told everyone at his school that his Mama told him he was getting a baby brother. (Um, no! I did not.)

He says he is going to feed the baby a bottle and rice and change its stinky diaper.

Last night, he told Daniel, "You hold that baby, Dada, and Mama will hold John." 

Sounds like we have our work cut out for us!

Thanks to everyone for all of your kind words and well wishes.  We certainly appreciate them and all of the prayers you want to send up for us!

XOXO,
Stacy

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Facts about Breast Cancer in the United States

One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.

Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in women.

Breast cancer is the second leading cause of death among women.

Each year it is estimated that over 220,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with breast cancer and more than 40,000 will die.

Although breast cancer in men is rare, an estimated 2,150 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer and approximately 410 will die each year.

Yep, those are some scary facts, BUT...

Early Detection is the Key to winning the battle!

When breast cancer is detected early (localized stage), the 5-­year survival rate is 98%.

That's some pretty good odds!

Go to http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-cancer-early-detection-plan to learn more!

John McRae's Big Announcement

John McRae has an exciting 

announcement to make!

Love,

John McRae

John McRae & Pia

John McRae and Pia share something very special,

their foster family.

Our families are so very blessed to have had such special, loving people care for our children during such an important developmental time in their lives.  Our babies are happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children.

We will forever be grateful beyond words.

XOXO,
Stacy

Only in my world...

8:45PM last night: Fell asleep on a pallet beside John McRae's bed.

10:50PM: Woke up just long enough to set my alarm for 11:50PM so that I could wake up to register for Created for Care's March retreat.  I go back to sleep on the floor, because I'm too tired to go to bed.

12:03AM this morning: Oh, crap! The alarm didn't go off, but I'm up. Let me go see if I can register on my phone since our home internet is jacked up.

12:09AM: Can't register on phone so I text Mary Leigh and ask if she is up.  She is - YES! She agrees to register me.  Phone won't pick up inside so I take our conversation to the front porch where I'm deathly afraid that a snake will attack me at any minute.  The dog insists on going with me.  Finally, it is done. The dog had finished his business and I'm registered for March. Whoo hoo!

12:30 AM: Out of curiosity, I check to see why my alarm didn't go off. I'd set it for 11:50AM.  You know, I could have registered for the retreat when I woke up at 10:50PM had I stayed up another 10 minutes, because it was set at Eastern Time Zone.

12:40AM: John McRae wakes up crying.  I go get him, get him back to sleep and finally get in bed.

Don't stop here...it gets better.

7:20AM: While buckling John McRae into his car seat, Bubble Puppy jumps into my car. 

He never jumps in my car. He hardly ever rides anywhere with us,

BUT TODAY he decides he's going to tag along for the ride.

 He starts off in the driver's seat, but moves on to the passenger's seat where

the contents of my purse have poured out.



7:25: I call Daniel to tell him that I cannot get the dog out of the car.  He thinks I'm crazy for calling him because 1.) I should be able to get a dog out of a car & 2.) There is nothing he can do about it over the phone.  I just needed moral support.

7:30: The dog has migrated to the very back of my Acadia.  I have every door open trying to shew him out of one of them.  He begins to shake all over.  I start thinking he must have gotten bit by a snake or that he is having a seizure since 1.) He never jumps in my car & 2.) He is shaking.  John McRae is steadily telling him, "Bubble Puppy, get out of Mama's car. You can not ride in Mama's car to school."

World's most adorable Bull Dawg (JMc is representing in his MSU shirt today) and the world's most annoying, stubborn Australian Shepherd.

7:30 AM: Since I think the dog is sick, I pull out of the drive way with both of my boys loaded in the car assuming I'd be headed to the vet after dropping JMc off at school.

It's a miracle.  Bubble Puppy decides that he is completely well and decides to ride along side brother and smile at me and tell me through his freaky "see right through you" eyes that he has out-smarted me.  Undoubtedly, the air was blowing a little too cool for him causing him to freeze.





Sneaky Bubble puppy in the floor of world's grossest, dirtiest car.

7:40AMish: Pull up to drop JMc off and he begins telling Mrs. Stephanie about our

morning turmoil with Bubble Puppy. 

Then, upon returning to my crunk (yea, I'm southern) car, I realize that Bubble Puppy has locked me out of it.  Enterprise PD is called by the sweet highway patrolman there to drop off his kid.  Then, the sweet police officer from EPD comes to unlock my car.  Who knew?  They both told me (with grins smeared on their faces) that it is a very common occurrence for animals to lock their owners out of vehicles. Fun times.

Then, I drove back home to return the dog for the day before going to work.  Bubble Puppy jumped right out, went poopy, and was ready to go in his pen for the day. 

Thank you, Bubble Puppy, for waiting until you got out of the car for that!

I guess he just needed a little excitement for the day.

In the midst of all of this, many smiles were brought to several sad faces.  Today is a very sad day for our community and even if I was an hour and a half late for work and had to drive all around the world and back (And having to get the law involved), I'm glad that my troubles brought smiles and laughter to folks who really needed it today.   I'm sure the teachers and students at TSS are still listening to JMc tel the story about, "Bubble Puppy got in Mama's car.  Mama said Bubble Puppy get out of Mama's car.  You can't go to school."  Then, he goes on to tell about "Bubble Puppy was shaking and shaking and lock Mama out of car. Ha Ha Ha."



Yep, this is a picture of Bubble Puppy laughing at me while I was waiting for the door to be unlocked!



Severe Cuteness.

XOXO,

Stacy

Tenth Avenue North - Losing

My new favorite song.
Enjoy! =)

I can't believe what she said

I can't believe what he did

Oh, don't they know it's wrong?

Don't they know it's wrong?

Well maybe there's something I missed

But how could they treat me like this?

It's wearing out my heart

The way they disregard

This is love. This is hate.

We all have a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?

They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

Cause I feel like the one losin'

It's only the dead that can live

But still I wrestle with this

To lose the pain that's mine

Seventy times seven times

Lord it doesn't feel right

For me to turn a blind eye

But I guess it's not that much

When I think of what You've done.

This is love. This is hate.

We've got a choice to make

Oh, Father, won't You forgive them?

They don't know what they've been doin'

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

Cause I feel like the one losin' (oh no)

Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?

We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought

But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground

We build our bridges up, but just to burn them down

We think pain is owed apologies and them it'll stop

But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not

Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound

Of Mercy and Your Grace, Father, send Your angels down (singin')

Oh, Father, won't you forgive them?

They don't know what they've been doing (oh, no)

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

Cause I feel like the one losing

I feel like I've been losing

Oh Father won't you forgive them

They don't know what they've been doin'

Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them

Cause I feel like the one losin'
I feel like I've been losing

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

Cause I feel like the one losin'



When it rains...

John McRae pours!

Saturday was another rainy, steamy day of being stuck inside and we get SO stir crazy.

It's gotten to the point to where we have to get really creative to pass

the time while being stuck indoors.



Nobody loves a birthday party better than JMc, so he was all for having Bubble Puppy

an "elephant birthday cake birthday party."

Our big boy helped bake the cake.

Yep, he stuck his tongue in it.

And yep, he stuck his finger in it to give the icing a taste.

After nap, it was time for cake.

This kid LOVES sweets!

STOP! In the name of cake!



Mama's eyes are red and looks a mess after her lovely 3 hour nap!



Then, we finished up the fun with a little learning.

XOXO,

Stacy

The Kid Has Style

We just haven't quite figured it out yet.

Notice the gold chain with diamond.

Pants on head and around neck = hat and scarf.

Silly kiddo.

Gotta have bling and boots.

With this kid around, there is never a dull moment.

And, we love every minute of it!

XOXO,

Stacy