So Thankful.

During this time of year, I always reflect back on the things in my life that I've been blessed with.  The last few years have had some highs, but have had very many lows.  Since August 26th, all of our hard times seem to make a little more sense.  This year, I'm more thankful than I have ever been.  I have family and friends that love me, and I love them.  My husband is perfect for me, and our son is a blessing from God.  To Him, I am thankful for so much more than I deserve.

Each day, I understand more and more why things have happened, and even though the hard times still cut deep, I am thankful.  After a conversation with a wonderful friend yesterday, I am trying to find the words to express how I feel and to further share our adoption story.  I'm going to give it a shot...

Daniel and I met a family at the dirt track, of all places, who had two beautiful Korean girls, along with a handsome biological son.  At first glance, I looked at Daniel and a cousin that was there with us and said, "I have to go talk to that lady."  I knew in my heart right then, that our dream to adopt wasn't just a passion, it could be a reality.  So, I approached the mother of the three beautiful children and realized right off of the bat that she was just who I needed to meet, at the exact right time.  God was a big part of her family's life, and He had led them to Holt International and to the Korea program.  She told her family's story to Daniel and I, and gave us the Holt website.  Two weeks later, I went to the website and saw two little boys that grabbed my attention.  One little boy already had a family who had decided to proceed with his adoption, and the other little boy was still waiting for a family.  I called Daniel and told him about the two little boys, took a picture of the picture of Bak Ha-su with my phone, and sent it to him.  He told me to go for it.  So, I filled out the Waiting Child application.  I received the file on both little boys, and was told if we wanted to proceed on the little boy who already had a family, we could, but we would have to go before committee with that family.  Daniel and I had already agreed that if a family had already agreed to proceed, we would not step in their way.  This other little boy is precious, and we felt that he was just right for our family.  The next day, I took Bak Ha-su's file to have it reviewed by a local doctor.  He is not a pediatrician, but I trust him, and he said he saw nothing serious in his file.  I immediately called Daniel, and then immediately called Holt. And emailed them. ;)  Holt told me that two more families had Bak Ha-su's file, and they would have two weeks to decide if they, too, wanted to proceed with his adoption.  A few days later, there was only one family left to decide.  Almost two weeks later, we received word that that the other family had declined to proceed, and we did not have to go before committee.  I asked why the other family backed out, and Holt could not tell me.  I did ask if it was a medical reason, and was told, "no."  It didn't make sense, but it was such a relief.  We knew we wanted Ha-su to a part of our family and didn't understand why it would take another family two weeks to decide, when we knew immediately?!?  Bak Ha-su was our son, and that was exactly what we wanted to hear!  Through this whole process, we have said how blessed we were, and how God had his hand in our adoption the entire time.  Most families have to go before committee, and do not get the first couple of children that they fall in love with.  Yes, you do fall in love with those referral pictures...almost immediately!  Everything in our process, besides the wait and my anxieties, were perfect.  Looking back, it was such a smooth ride.  I think it was easier because we were so ignorant of the adoption process.  We didn't know to be looking for legals, EP submission, I-600 Approvals, Visa Physicals, etc.  Last Thanksgiving and Christmas were hard.  First, because we were no longer pregnant.  Second, because our son was in Korea experiencing his first major holidays with someone else.  I am now thankful that John McRae got to experience his 100 day celebration, first Christmas, first birthday in his birth country with his amazing foster family.  I'm thankful that he can always have that, and that I can always have the photos of those special times.  I'm so happy to know that I have that picture of him in his fancy red outfit, his foster mother, and a nun in front on a manger scene in South Korea.  His foster family loved him dearly, provided for him, took him everywhere and shaped him into the wonderful little boy he is.  They deserved those times with him. 

So, back to my conversation yesterday, and a better understanding of that mysterious family. ;)

A week or two before John McRae came home, I received a message from a lady who had also had children adopted from South Korea, and they had also been escorted in to the Memphis airport.  She was very helpful, and I could tell that she and her husband had a huge, Godly heart.  They didn't even know us, but felt led to do nice things for us, to guide us, to make our Family Day perfect.  I've kept in touch with this family, and yesterday, I emailed some recent photos of John McRae to them.  I received an email back that the second photo looked a lot like a child that they had requested a file on.  She couldn't remember his family name, but his name was Ha-su.  I immediately felt chills run up and down my body.  I knew then that, they were the "other family."  So, I emailed back, but also called because I had to know more!  I asked if the family name was Bak, date of birth, and certain other details....AND IT WAS CONFIRMED!  I'd been friends with the other family all of this time!!!  Here's the amazing part.  Even before we received John McRae's file, God was telling this lady's husband that this wasn't their child, he belonged to someone else.  This was a strong feeling that my friend didn't understand.  They had several things going on, and she wanted Ha-su to be her daughter's sibling!  I think it was pretty sticky around there house for a while. :)  During our two week wait on the other family, they got another referral.  That is when we got the call that Ha-su was ours!  See, this family had had John McRae's file for some time, requesting additional medical tests to be done, and I believe they had his file before he made it to the waiting child photo listing.  It takes my breath away to know that God was telling this man that John McRae belonged to us, even before we knew John McRae existed!  That's powerful!  I always felt that John McRae was meant to be ours and that this adoption was His plan for us.  I now know that to be 100% true.  I feel so blessed that we finally put 2 & 2 together, and I understand more and more about our adoption process, and about God's plan for our lives.  It is so amazing that this special family will actually get to know John McRae, and know where the little boy who's picture they fell in love with lives, goes to school, and they can know for sure that he found the perfect forever family who love him very much!  Isn't that amazing! 

While we declined to proceed on a child because a family had already attached to him, this family done the same thing for us.  We had written proof that another family wished to proceed on the other little boy, they just had a gut feeling.  Awesome!

There are so many more specifics I could share, but this is a really emotional time for both of our families.  I probably should have waited until my thoughts were clear, and I could write this with more clarity.  I just couldn't wait.  It's Thanksgiving, a time to be thankful.  We have so much to be thankful for.  This isn't a coincidence.  This is God's work!  We've learned so much, we've made so many friends that we will treasure forever, we've grown up, we've developed a better understanding of our purpose on Earth and we have the most amazing little boy in the entire world!  John McRae's smile is amazing, and he touches so many people's lives in a way they can't explain.  He is a shining light to our family that pulls us through hard times.  He started blessing our lives way before he even made it to MS! 

I ask that all of you who read this who pray, to please pray for North and South Korea.  Things might get really ugly there.  Please pray for the people who live there, run the countries, the babies there awaiting adoption, those who have been matched and are waiting to come home, for the families here who are so worried about their children who are still in Korea and can't bring them home yet and those who will be traveling to and from Korea.  With the anxieties we face in the adoption process, I can't even imagine throwing this worry into the mix. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!
Much love,
The Benefields