Happy Birthday Papa

Missing him.

Today, and every day.

My grandfather was probably the best there ever was.

At age 2, I was cutting his hair.

Every summer until I started work in the 11th grade, I spent the summers with him and my grandma.

Sausage biscuits from McDonald's.

Going to work with him.

Going to the park to play.

Watching the race.

Playing jokes.
Tons of love.

I miss those email forwards that I never though much about.

I'm not one to read a forward that someone sends me, but to just have one more email pop up from him or one more instant message on AIM.

Staying up all night tracking Santa on tv on Christmas Eve.

Talking to him for the last time and telling him I love him just before he went into surgery and never woke back up.  Feeding him a banana and hearing him tell me he loved me for the last time.

Not only does this this day remind me of the good times, it is a very sad day because I can't help but think of that last meeting with him.

I know he is better now, and spending his birthday with Jesus, but we still miss him and love him so much.

I love you, too, mama.  I can't even imagine what this day is like for you.

If you are reading this, please pray for our family.

XOXO,
Stacy

finalization here we come!

We completed the first step to finalization today.  We took the required documents to our attorney.  We are hoping for a court date w/in four weeks, but it might be closer to 6 weeks.  The judge does not come to our county but on certain days of the month.  Yes, we live in a small town.  I won't complain because I love our small town, and the people that live here.

From what I gathered today, we are waiting on the attorney to mail us something to take to JMc's doctor to state his age and where he stands regarding his physical and mental health.  I am assuming they will say he is not up to par because of his language.  He is doing really well, I think.  So, that will really tick me off.  He knows what we are saying, and comprehends most any word we say.  He just isn't talking yet.  He is doing a lot of jibber-jabbering, but not 3 word sentences like that charts says he should be doing.  Don't get me started on that chart...

Then, we will have a form to list all of his personal proprety.  Let's see.  Barney cards, Sesame Street books, some clothes and shoes and Barney DVD's.  That about wraps up the things that he can't do without. ;)

Then, we will wait on a court date and await his birth certificate.  Then, we can apply for a social security card.  Wow, does it really ever end.  Some folks would even say hurry and get his COC. 

So, that is what is going on right now with finalization.  I can't help but think it is going to be more hurry up and wait.  Oh yea, we kept Ha-su as a second middle name. :)  I couldn't stand the thought of taking that away from JMc.  That name and a onsie is all he has left of her.  I just couldn'd do it.  The name fits him perfectly.  Smile Happy.  In hopes that he would live happy with a happy smile.  See what I mean?  Have you seen this kid's smile?

Please be praying for my adoption friends (& their friends and families) who are with their kids now and about to fly home, who are days away from meeting their babies, and the ones still waiting on their travel call!

XOXO,

Stacy

Made to Crave - Day 9

Day 9: I could never give up that!


Thought for the Day: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22 – 23)

Self-control is hard. We don’t like to deny ourselves. We don’t think it’s necessary. We make excuses and declare, “That’s nice for someone else, but I could never give up ____________!” (fill in the blank: soda, sugar, cupcakes, smoking . . .)

If we’re relying on ourselves, that excuse may be true. But there’s another level to self-control that too few of us find. In Matthew 19:23 – 24, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven . . . it’s easier for the camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

In other words, Jesus was saying that it’s hard for people who are satisfied with the things of this world to deny themselves. It’s hard for someone who is rich with excess to deny herself and be humble enough to admit, “I must give this up.” When the disciples heard this teaching, they were confused until Jesus clarified; “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (verse 26).

Maybe you’ve heard verse 26 spoken in the common context that God can make us healthy, wealthy, and get us to a new breakthrough. We tend to think of it as saying, “With God, all good things are possible! With God, all lavish things are possible!” But if you study this verse in the original context, it actually means, “With man, it is impossible to deny yourself. With man, it is impossible to make sacrifices. With man, it is impossible to have self-control. But with God, all sacrificial things are possible. With God, all self-control is possible.”

I believe this one little shift in our thinking can make us feel empowered, instead of feeling denied. Rather than giving in to the foods we crave, we can have God’s self-control to make a completely different decision, such as a decision for health . . . a decision for renewed energy . . . a decision for confidence and peace. Most importantly, a decision that honors both our body and God!


If you are like me, and struggle with over eating and dieting, I hope you, too, will gain a little encourgement and motivation from the words above.  I'm so dependant on Pepsi Max and other caffiene filled things.  So, this morning was my last Pepsi Max and I'm going to do my best to stay away from caffiene and chocolate!  Being healthy is a life style change, and I can do this.  All things are possible with God, but I do feel he gives us good friends and family to help keep up on track and motivated.  Thank you, Allyson, for sharing Made to Crave with me.  It's free.  So, if any of you are ineterested, here is the link. 

http://madetocrave.org/21-day-challenge/

XOXO,

Stacy

Whoo Hoo!

HOORAY!  SO MUCH GOOD NEWS IN THE ADOPTION WORLD TODAY!  I LOVE MY AP FRIENDS, AND I'M SO VERY EXCITED FOR ALL OF THESE TRAVEL CALLS TODAY!!!  YOU ARE ALL VERY SPECIAL TO ME, AND IF I CAN HELP YOU IN ANY WAY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.  WE MAY LIVE MILES AWAY, BUT MY PHONE IS ALWAYS ON FOR CALLS AND MY EMAILS COME STRAIGHT TO MY PHONE, TOO. =)  WHOO HOO!  THANK YOU GOD FOR ALL OF OUR MANY BLESSINGS.  YOUR PERFECT TIMING IS ALWAYS PERFECT, AS HARD AS IT IS TO REMEMBER THAT DURING TIMES OF WAITING. ABBY, YOU ARE NEXT GIRLFRIEND.  BROOKE & MARY LEIGH, YOU ARE NOT VERY FAR BEHIND EITHER! 
LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS!
STACY

@23 Months.

Wow!  Next month, my baby will turn 2!  Boy has time flown since that energetic, smiling, loving Korean prince was placed in our ams on Aug. 26th.  In six short months, our lives have changed so much.  We can hardly remember life before (as cliche as that may sound) John McRae joined our family.  We thought we used to be busy.  Now, I often wonder what did I really do to utilize my time?  I had no excuse to not exercise, finish school work, clean house, go visit friends and family, etc.  Our lives have been filled with so much joy and happiness since becoming parents.  It is the greatest compliment we've ever received when we are told we are good parents and when comments are made about how happy our son is. God has surely blessed us.
I'm going to do 23 things at 23 months. 
John McRae...
1.) will say AMEN when praying.
2.) can now feed himself very well.
3.) loves to play outside.
4.) loves animals and makes a lot of animal sounds.
5.) enjoys drinking out of a cup with no lid.
6.) high fives, kisses, shakes hands, winks, and smiles showing all of his teeth and will show you how Cookie Monster eats a cookie.
7.) gives unsolicited kisses and hugs.
8.) loves watching and dancing to Barney DVDs.
9.) loves books,  especially Sesame Street books.
10.) can be very stubborn and is very demanding.
 11.) enjoys daycare and loves the staff there.
12.) rides much better than he used to as long as a Barney DVD is playing.
13.) still likes veggies better than meat, but is eating lots of new things.
14.) loves bath time, but dislikes putting his clothes back on!
15.) enjoys being around his grandparents.
16.) won't let his daddy out of his sight some evenings.
17.) enjoys when all three of us are in one room, doing the same thing.
18.) is afraid of the dark.
19.) is very hot natured.
20.) leads us around by reaching out for our finger and taking us where he wants to go.
21.) is now saying more words, and is trying to talk.  I don't think it will be too long now.
22.) loves to roar like a dino.
23.) has everyone wrapped around his precious little finger.

It's really clear that my baby is growing up really FAST!  I'm thinking I should have left him on a bottle longer than 6 days after he came home.   Maybe I should see if he'll take it back.  I'm kidding, of course. =) Even though I'm happy that he is a healthy, growing little guy, I'm already missing my baby.  He still has to sleep with me and is always wanting me to hold him, but his appearance is changing into a big boy!  I'm not sure on his exact weight right now, but he is close to 30 lbs and has grown several inches. 

So, that is an update on our little guy at 23 months old. 

Just what I needed...

some good news!

I just thought to check my email hoping to hear from Holt and I had an email with the following message:

Good morning,

FYI, I am Fed-Xing consents, they will arrive sometime Friday, no signature is required. The tracking number is XXXX XXXX XXXX.

So, I'm going to call our attorney and make an appointment for Monday morning.  I thought we'd have the consents by now, and was told we might get the info by email...but I'll take it when we can get it!  I'm so ready to get this adoption finalized.

I'm having a sucky day, and God knew that I needed good news today.  Just another assurance that no matter what, He is in control and He will take care of it all.  With that said, I wish he'd turn off my worry switch! ;)



A Child's Ten Commandments to Parents

A Child's Ten Commandments to Parents


1. My hands are small; please don't expect perfection whenever I make my bed, draw a picture, or throw a ball. My legs are short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you.

2. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely; don't restrict me unnecessarily.

3. Housework will always be there. I'm only little for such a short time - Please take the time to explain things to me about this wonderful world and do so willingly.

4. My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs; please don't nag me all day long. You wouldn't want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness. Treat me as you would like to be treated.

5. I am a special gift; please treasure me as my Creator intended you to do, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by, and disciplining me in a loving manner.

6. I need your encouragement, not just your praise to grow. Please go easy on the criticism; you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.

7. Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my own mistakes. Then someday I will be prepared to make the kind of decisions life will require of me.

8. Please don't do things over for me. Somehow that makes me fell that my efforts didn't quite measure to your expectations. I know it's hard, but please don't try to compare me to my brother or sister.

9. Please don't be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need a vacation from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it's a great way to show us that your marriage is very special.

10. Please take me to church regularly, setting a good example for me to follow. I enjoy learning more about God.

Love,
Stacy

Valentine's Day

Well, this is the first year I've been able to say openly that I have TWO Valentines.  I'm kidding ;), for the past 10.5 years,

 I've had my one and only.

(I should probably add that I actually have 4 :), because I can't forget my mommy and daddy!)


So, here are the pictures you came for.

Yes, I made these. :)

Really?  I can have THIS for breakfast?

Such a big boy!  Never wants a sippy cup anymore.

My sweet, sweet boy!

Yum!

To Stacy from Daniel and John McRae :)

To Daniel from Stacy and John McRae

Treats for daycare

The backs have a Barney card.

Dressed and ready for his Valentine party. =)

FINDING MY HAPPY PLACE!

BUT IT DEFINITELY ISN'T IN MY OFFICE TODAY!

I'M NOT ONE TO COMPLAIN ON FACEBOOK OR ANY OTHER WORLD WIDE OUTLET, BUT I DID TODAY.  AND THIS IS MY BLOG, SO I'M GOING TO DO IT HERE, RIGHT NOW, TOO.

I DIDN'T SLEEP ANY LAST NIGHT BECAUSE OF A CUTE LITTLE 2YR OLD THAT HAD A STUFFY NOSE AND IS RECOUPING FROM SOME TYPE OF STOMACH ISSUE.  I THINK THE STOMACH STUFF IS IN PART HIS EATING HABITS, AND MAYBE HIS SECOND SET OF MOLARS COMING IN.  WELL, I THOUGHT THAT UNTIL MY STOMACH STARTED HAVING THE SAME ISSUE AND I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ANY NEW TEETH TO BE COMING IN UNTIL I AM A CANDIDATE FOR DENTURES.  HE ALSO FELT THE NEED TO FLIP, FLOP AND SLEEP WITH HIS LEG ACROSS MY NECK, WITH A FOOT IN MY MOUTH. WITH THAT SAID, HE WOKE HIS DADDY UP TO JOIN THE FUN AT 4:30AM, AND WE'VE ALL BEEN UP SINCE THEN.  THE LITTLE STINKER WENT TO SLEEP ON THE WAY TO DAYCARE.  I SURE HOPE THEY AREN'T DEALING WITH A CRANKY, SLEEPY TODDLER TODAY, BUT I'M ALMOST POSITIVE I WILL BE DEALING WITH ONE COME 4:30 THIS EVENING.

BEFORE LEAVING FOR DAYCARE, I PUSHED THE BUTTON TO AUTO START MY CAR BECAUSE IT IS COLD ENOUGH TO FREEZE A WITCH'S..., WELL YOU GET MY DRIFT.  UPON ATTEMPTING TO STICK MY KEY INTO THE IGNITION TO ACTUALLY LEAVE FOR WORK AND SCHOOL, I NOTICE MY KEY IS BENT.  WONDERING HOW THE H E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS THAT HAPPENED, I GO INSIDE TO FIND ANOTHER KEY.  THANKFULLY, I FOUND MY EXTRA.

I GO TO THE GROCERY STORE AFTER DROPPING JMC OFF AT DAYCARE AND MY FUEL LEVEL IS TOO LOW TO DO THE AUTO START WHILE I'M IN THE STORE. YES, I'M VERY COLD NATURED IN MY OLDER AGE AND I DESPISE GETTING INTO A COLD CAR AND PUMPING GAS IN THE COLD...AND IN THE HOT FOR THAT MATTER, BUT THAT IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT POST.  I GOT WHAT I WENT FOR.  GINGER ALE AND DIET SPRITE. NEITHER OF WHICH I'VE TAKEN EVEN ONE SIP OF TODAY.  I HAVE ENJOYED THE YOGURT AND BANANA, THOUGH.  SEE, I EVEN EAT WHEN MY STOMACH IS NAUSEA...CAN YOU SEE NOW WHY DIETS AREN'T MY STYLE?

I GET TO WORK EARLY, TO UPLOAD SOME PICS TO WALMART.COM FOR OUR DANIEL TO PICK UP LATER TODAY AND TAKE TO OUR SOCIAL WORKER.  BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAS WORKED OUT RIGHT TODAY.  SHE PROBABLY WON'T LIKE ANY OF THE PICS, BECAUSE REALISTICALLY, NONE OF THEM ARE THAT GREAT, BUT IT IS ALL I HAVE SINCE I SAW HER 30 DAYS AGO.

I'M STILL A LITTLE EARLY.  SO, I BEGIN PAYING A FEW PERSONAL BILLS.  TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY I REMEMBERED TO PUT A NEW CHECKBOOK IN MY PURSE.  SORRY FOLKS WHO'VE BEEN WANTING YOUR MONEY.  NOTE TO SELF, ORDER MORE CHECKS, THIS IS YOUR LAST BOOK. 

I FIND A BILL FROM THE PHYSICAL I HAD FOR OUR HOME STUDY WHICH TOOK PLACE ON 12/16/09.  THE CLINIC BILLED IT WRONG, SO THEY CHARGED ME $85.  I'VE BEEN BACK AND FORTH WITH THEM ABOUT REFILING SINCE THEN.  WELL, I FINALLY GOT A NEW BILL AND NOW I OWE A WHOPPING $158!  WHAT THE CRAP!?!  SO, I CALL...AND GET A VOICE MAIL, LEAVING A REALLY UGLY MESSAGE.  IT'S 02/10/11 FOR PETE'S SAKE!  THEN, I GET A CONTACT FROM A FRIEND AND CALL TO TALK TO HER.  THE CLINIC BILLED THE CLAIM A NEW WAY, AND IT WAS DENIED AGAIN.  RESULTING IN A HIGHER COST.  WELL, THEY MIGHT HAVE BILLED IT DIFFERENTLY, BUT HOW DO YOU CHARGE $85 AND THEN $158 FOR THE SAME THING, JUST BECAUSE YOU ENTERED A NEW BILLING CODE?!?  I TOLD THE LADY THAT I WAS TIRED OF DEALING WITH IT AND I DIDN'T WANT THIS AFFECTING MY CREDIT.  SO, IF SHE'D TAKE THE $85 THAT I WAS ORIGINALLY BILLED, I'D PAY IT AND CALL IT A LESSON LEARNED.  WELL, SHE IS GOING TO CHECK INTO IT AND SEE WHAT SHE CAN DO AND CALL ME BACK.  WHO WANTS TO TAKE A BET THAT MY NEXT BILL WILL BE CLOSER TO $200?  URGH.

NOW, I'LL UPDATE YOU THAT CARE ON MY DIET.  I DID GREAT LAST WEEK, BUT NOT SO MUCH THIS WEEK.  I HAVEN'T GAINED, BUT NO WHERE NEAR MY GOAL FOR THE WEEK.  GOSH, WHY CAN'T I HAVE A HIGH METABOLISM AND NOT LOVE FOOD SO MUCH?  I'M DOWN 5 LBS SINCE LAST MONDAY.  BETTER SOME THAN NONE, I GUESS.

IN CLOSING, I WILL SAY THAT I'LL GLADLY ACCEPT ALL PRAYERS THAT YOU WANT TO SEND OUR FOR THE BENEFIELD HOUSEHOLD.  WE ARE ACCEPTING PRAYERS FOR GOOD HEALTH, BETTER MOODS AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO ASK THE BIG GUY FOR!  WE REQUEST ONLY GOOD THINGS, THOUGH.  NOT LIKE THAT SONG, "I'LL PRAY FOR YOU."  WE CARE NOT FOR FLOWER POTS FALLING FROM A WINDOW SEAL OR OUR BRAKES GOING OUT.

MUCH LOVE AND AGGRAVATION,

STACY



Come on TC!

To my dear AP friends who are awaiting their travel calls or just a little movement in their adoption process, this is for you...

The Promise

I know I must wait for the Lord to unfold;
My heart fills with fear for all that’s untold.
Wanting so badly to walk in your will;
My eyes see it clearly, yet I stand still.
Listening so closely to hear your voice;
Realizing in hearing, it demands a choice.
Knowing you promise to lead with a plan;
But wondering how on earth will I stand.
Dying to self is what I hear your voice say;
I cry out to you Lord, “Is that the way?”
Your love tenderly whispers, “My daughter be bold;
For my strength is sufficient, your heart shall never
grow cold.”
“For my timing now is perfect, as so is my plan;
All you have to do is let me take command.”
“Each door I will open, each key I will give;
Through you, my child, My spirit wishes to live.”
“Go now with confidence for I will show you the road;
I will shorten the length, I will carry the load.”
“In all that you go through, you may be reviled;
But shall walk out victoriously
With the hand of a child!”
Heather Beazley

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that’s how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are… what’s taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin…
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I’m doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you’ll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
— Unknown

Lots of Love and Prayers!!!
Stacy :)

Christmas Pictures

Better late than never, right?

The weekend before Christmas at Granny Benefields.

Uncle Fred & Aunt Sue

Add caption

Christmas Morning :)

More to come if my Mama and Daddy send me the ones they took. My camera was M.I.A. during the holidays.