Seoul Sisters! :)

I've been following ML's trip to Seoul at www.abrotherforbates.blogspot.com  If you haven't been, you are missing out.  Check it out!  You will laugh, cry, and feel God's love.

Sweet Olive is home and we can't wait to meet her.  While in Korea, Brooke delivered the photos we sent to JMc's foster mother.  I'm going to get Brooke or Todd to write down for me the experience when they have time because it is so touching and I want that memory as a keep sake for our son.  From what I've been told, JMc's foster mother is still referred to as Ha-su's foster mom.  JMc was not her first foster baby and she is currently fostering now, but Ha-su still holds a very special place in her heart.  She loves our boy so much and really, really wanted those pictures.  I'm so happy that she has them now, and I plan to send many, many more and maybe some video if I'm allowed.  My heart aches for her.  We are so very in love and attached to our son and she had him twice the amount of time we have.  She had him from 7 days old to 17 months old. I can't even imagine...Foster parents are amazing people.  In my heart, I want to foster because I know how much of a blessing JMc's foster family was to him and we will forever be grateful.  There is no way to put into words just how thankful we are of them.  In reality, I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to let go when the time comes. 

While following Brooke & ML's journey in Seoul, it makes me even sadder that we did not travel.  It's not that we didn't want to, it just didn't work for our family at the time.  We certainly plan to take JMc when he is older. Thankfully, ML is shopping for the traditional goodies that most people bring home with them.  I have full faith that she knows exactly what we need and would purchase if we were there.  I can't wait to see all of our Korean treasures! :) Thanks again, ML!!!

Memorial Day Weekend

~Our Memorial Day weekend was nice.  Friday night, D & I went shopping

and to eat while his parents watched the boy.~

~Saturday morning, I got things ready to take to the Tilghman's who were on their way home from Korea with their beautiful daughter. D went to the races so JMc and I just chilled out until Jess came and we met Brooke's parents to take the food.  Jess and I stopped by LaPinata for some yummy food. It was still great to get to hang out with Jess!~

~Sunday, D, JMC & I met the Biven's for lunch at LaPinata (never gets old) and really enjoyed seeing them.  We sure miss them since they moved to Ohio. Maybe we will make it to Ohio for a visit this summer to see them and Tracy's crew. :)  They brought goodies for JMc and then treated us to ice cream!  Once we got home, all three of us took a 3 hour nap!  Good times =) ~

~Monday, JMc and I hung out with Gran & Papa.  D had to work, but we really thought he'd get home early. No such luck.  JMc played in the pool and had a cupcake for a snack.~

JMc finished his last dose of antibiotic yesterday and has been doing so good for the past week. Last night, he woke us up crying again. Surely we aren't dealing with a dang ear infection AGAIN!?!  I guess we'll see how tonight goes and if he has another rough night, we will go to the doctor tomorrow instead of waiting on his follow-up appointment on Friday.  D has a sinus infection and possibly pneumonia. Please pray for my boys to get well and stay that way!

XOXO,

Stacy

Sweet 28

I've been meaning to blog about Easter, but I think I'll skip to my birthday and then catch everyone up on Easter later in the week.  My 28th birthday (Yikes!) fell on a Friday, and the entire week prior, my boys were sick.  D had a high fever, back pain, etc.  On Thursday, JMc's daycare called and told me to come get him because he had to go to the doctor.  He had coughed through the night, but I thought it was due to drainage.  Poor boy's allergies have bothered him since he came home.  When I went to pick him up, he sounded like a hoarse duck.  It was so pitiful!  I grabbed him up, losing a shoe on the way to the car, and we headed to the new clinic in town.  (On the way, I called the daycare to please go find his shoe.) So with one shoe on and one shoe off, we went to see the doctor.  He was treated for the beginning of an ear infection and the croup.  For my mommy friends of Asian babies, you know about the ear wax.  Well, the doctor had to dig about 15 minutes before he could even tell that JMc's ears were red.  Any helpful hints on that subject would be greatly appreciated.  JMc got 2 medicines via shot, which totalled up to three shots because they gave the steroid in a split dose since it is so thick.  Poor baby was pitiful and his legs hurt from the shots.  I asked him where he hurt and he leaned down and kissed both of his legs individually.  An hour or so after we got home, he was feeling much better. I didn't send him to school the next day (my birthday).  He and I met Daniel and the Tilghman's for lunch.  It was a nice visit.  We always enjoy seeing Judah and her peeps. :)No pictures were taken of any of us, but this is the cute frame that they brought me for my birthday.

After lunch, JMc and I took a nap.

That was the extent of my birthday celebration.  Not very much fun at all, other than meeting for lunch.  No birthday cake, nothing special.  We had talked about going to the beach, but with everyone's health being so poor, it would have been a horrible trip, and a lot of wasted money.

Daniel did surprise me with a nice bracelet and a card.  He picked it out on his own. :)  It's a charm bracelet that he and JMc will add to through the years.  He chose the "I love you" and also the breast cancer ribbon in honor of my mom because he knew I'd be thinking of her over the Mother's Day weekend.

Jennifer got me this awesome frame. The wrapping was so pretty, that I hated to open it!

Emma surprised me with the lovely gift below. Love it!

My inlaws gave me the frame and flower below (and some cash!)

Mama and Daddy both gave me nice cards with cash enclosed.  I had several others send money cards, too.

I have about $200 birthday money that I'm trying to decide what I want to do with!

All in all, it was a good day and more than anything..I'm glad that my boys are feeling better!

Mother's Day was a part of my birthday weekend, too!  So no matter if a big deal was not made of my birthday or if I didn't get to do anything really fun, it was still the best birthday weekend ever because it was a first with John McRae.  Some said, "Happy First Mother's Day," but it wasn't my first Mother's Day.  The only difference was I was many, many miles from my son last Mother's Day.  He was very much a part of my life and I already loved him very much, he just wasn't physically there with me.  I'll never forget Emma calling me last Mother's Day to tell me that John McRae wanted her to tell me Happy Mother's Day!  My birthday weekend last year was spent at the beach.  D & I had an amazing time.  Honestly, I spent most of it thinking about how things would be this year and daydreaming about our little Ha-su that we were getting so close to bringing home from Korea. May was a very important month to us last year.  After many months of waiting for our process to move forward, we FINALLY saw some movement.  Lots of very important paperwork was completed in May 2010 and we officially began our 3 month wait til travel call. It's amazing how quickly time flies, and to look back and see just how much God has blessed me.

So, it was a big weekend for me!

I don't have a picture to post, but JMc (and Daniel) got me a very nice Fossil MSU watch and t-shirt for Mother's Day!  They know just what I like! :)

I also got Mother's Day cards from other folks, including my Mama & Daddy!  I think my very favorite card over the entire weekend is the one below!  It's a Mother's Day card from my sweet Ike & O. :)

XOXO,

Stacy 

I Won't Let Go

After my workout yesterday morning, I heard this song on the radio.

Such a beautiful song, with such a strong message.

It’s like a storm

That cuts a path

It’s breaks your will

It feels like that

You think your lost

But your not lost on your own

Your not alone

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you’ve done all you can do

If you can’t cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I wont let go

It hurts my heart

To see you cry

I know it’s dark

This part of life

Oh it finds us all

And we’re too small

To stop the rain

Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you’ve done all you can do

And you can’t cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I wont let you fall

Don’t be afraid to fall

I’m right here to catch you

I wont let you down

It wont get you down

Your gonna make it

Yea I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you’ve done all you can do

And you can’t cope

And I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I wont let go

Oh I’m gonna hold you

And I wont let go

Wont let you go

No I wont

XOXO,

Stacy

I thought of you and closed my eyes.

This poem is very beautiful to me.  I think some of my friends and family will benefit from it, too.

I thought of you and closed my eyes


And prayed to God today

I asked “What makes a Mother?”

And I know I heard Him say.



“A Mother has a baby”

This we know is true

“But God can you be a Mother,

When your baby’s not with you?”



“Yes, you can,” He replied

With confidence in His voice

“I give many women babies,

When they leave is not their choice.



Some I send for a lifetime,

And others for the day.

And some I send to feel your womb,

But there’s no need to stay.”



“I just don’t understand this God

I want my baby to be here.”

He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,

And then I saw the tear.



“I wish I could show you,

What your child is doing today.

If you could see your child’s smile,

With all the other children and say…



‘We go to Earth to learn our lessons,

Of love and life and fear.

My Mommy loved me oh so much,

I got to come strait here.



I feel so lucky to have a Mom,

Who had so much love for me.

I learned my lessons very quickly,

My Mommy set me free.



I miss my Mommy oh so much,

But I visit her every day.

When she goes to sleep,

On her pillow’s where I lay



I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,

And whisper in her ear.

Mommy don’t be sad today,

I’m your baby and I’m here.’



“So you see my dear sweet ones,

your children are okay.

Your babies are born here in My home,

And this is where they’ll stay.



They’ll wait for you with Me,

Until your lesson’s through.

And on the day that you come home

they’ll be at the gates for you.



So now you see what makes a Mother,

It’s the feeling in your heart

it’s the love you had so much of

Right from the very start



Though some on earth may not realize,

you are a Mother.

Until their time is done.

They’ll be up here with Me one day

and know that you are the best one!”

XOXO,

Stacy

Missing my Aunti Em.

Growing up, I always had her across the street.  My aunt, sister, best friend was always there.  Even through the times that weren't so peachy, there was always a special bond.  So many inside jokes, and the only person in the entire world that really, truly knows me inside and out.  We get each other.  We sound just alike.  We act very similar. We have a mole on the same side/spot of our noses. We enjoy many of the same things.  We take pride in many of the same traditions and things that others might not see the importance of.  As much fun as we have had and as many memories we have made in our life time, I can't help but to think how much we would enjoy having each other so close at this stage of our lives. 

While she is not physically in MS, I know that she is always just a phone call away..and that helps. 

(As I'm writing this, she just sent me an IM telling me that she misses me today.  Tell me we aren't sisters!)

Love you Hem-Ha!

Here is a picture of us with Grandma J.  I'm the little baby that looks Asian.  Emma is the cute little kid with beautiful eyes!

XOXO,

Stacy

Learning a lot as a first time parent

to say the least.

Since November 2009, I've learned a lot.  From first glance at JMc's photo, I knew the love of a mother.  I knew the worry for my child.  I knew how helpless it feels to not be able to be there for my child, as bad as I wanted to be.  I yearned for his hugs, his kisses, just to feel the warmth beaming from his precious little body.  I saw his smile in the pictures we received from Holt, but I wanted so badly to hear his laugh that accompanied that smile.  I was clueless.  I had never even changed a diaper in. my. entire. life.  (Nor had Daniel.)  We were first time EVERYTHING. Here are some examples that I'm sure you will chuckle over, because I'm laughing at myself right now. ;)

What will he eat?  I have to have every snack in Wal-Mart so that he will have everything he "needs." - The kid didn't want anything for breakfast the morning after our airplane day. (He was placed in my arms around 10pm.)  He did take a bottle, though.  If I'd known he was still primarily on formula at 17 months, boy I'd have had a lot less worry.  I'd just have had lots of Puffs.  They were his crack when he first came home.

What size shoe does he wear?  I just hoped his foster family would shoe him before he left Korea because Holt never informed me of a shoe size.  I bought some flip-flops for him just in case.  Note to self - waste of money. He never even put them on his feet.

What will he drink?  I remember asking my friends (thank you all for humoring me and not repeatedly telling me how insane I was!) how I should mix his fruit juices.  Of course because all of the websites and books said I should mix juice with water to dilute it, that was the gospel and it had to be done that way.  Well, now, I'm just happy if the sippy cup he is drinking out of isn't filled with molded apple juice (full strength) or rotten milk. ;)

What toys will he like?  I need to buy everything I see, because he has to have it and I'm sure a kid just can't be a kid without it.  WRONG!  Total waste of loads of money! ;)

What nursery furniture do I need?  Which mattress is the best?  Doesn't matter, because the kid won't sleep in it anyway.

Anyhoo, those are just a few of the things I obsessed about...

Now, 8 months after having my son home with me, I'm learning all kinds of new things.
Take Sunday evening for example.
John McRae is obsessed with his bath these days.  He. Loves. It.  So, when he is ready to bathe he will go to the bathroom door and say, "bath, bath, bath."  He also is a very repetitive child.  I guess he doesn't realize I might be ignoring him in lieu of being hard of hearing.  So, he was taking his bath on Sunday and he starts grunting.  Oh. My. Word.  There it is. Poop in the bath tub.  So, I call Daniel in to get him out of the tub while I go get my latex gloves (A must have on my mothering list! So what if I'm nice nasty!) to remove the poop.  When Daniel gets JMc out of the tub he hears, "doo doo."  Haha, I have never heard him say that, but I guess Elmo's Potty Time DVD is working.  The joys of motherhood. :)

Kids will fall and they will look like they've been in a bad bar fight.  After Easter holiday, JMC looked like he had been beat and I was awaiting DHS to show up any minute.

Kids are going to be sick.  On average a toddler gets 12 colds a year, per Daniel's research.  I think we've accomplished that in the first 4 months of this year.  We keep a stock pile of Tylenol, Motrin, Tussin, Triaminic, Allegra, Zyrtec, Benadryl, antihistamine cream, Neosporin, etc.  We need to build a new pantry just for JMc's medication.

The first month or so home, you can't worry if you have on make-up, clean clothes, or have had a bath.  I knew it was time for a change when my grandma told my aunt, "I think Stacy is doing better, she actually had on pants that weren't stretch pants today and I think she might have had a little make- up on." 

Pediatrician offices are horrible. End. of. story.

By the way, I've found my first gray hair.

Toddlers cause you to gain weight, until you have two at one time.  You'd think you'd lose because you are always chasing them, but because you have a twinkie in your mouth while chasing them because it isn't worth the trouble of trying to set down to a real meal..you gain weight.  In my case, 18 lbs. Gasp.

Kids will embarrass you.  While at the social security office getting JMc's SS card, he starts pooting and giggling.  Fun. Times.

It is hard work going to the grocery store with a toddler.  They want to open everything in the buggy as you place it in there.  Even the frozen dinners.

There is more, but now I must run a few errands because my lunch break has started. ;)

XOXO,

Stacy